Front and Center (it's all about perspective)

Wow. So first you have to read my good friend, Tanya's, blog post here ⬇

http://typicaltanya.wordpress.com/2013/02/05/front-and-center/#comments

Now once you've done that.....

I have a completely different perspective and it leaves me feeling quite astonished that two people can be so different and yet "get" each other so well.

I was at this same service on Saturday morning, but I was in probably the 5th or 6th row back? It was an INCREDIBLE time of worship and fellowship. I felt so comfortable and just blessed to be a part of such an amazing gathering of our church's family life volunteers! Now fast forward to Tuesday night's monthly leadership meeting. We got to church late, and I had asked my fellow leader from my service to save my husband and I a couple of seats. She texted back saying that she was in the back and that it was packed in there! I must admit, even just thinking back on the experience, my heart starts racing and I can feel the beginnings of an anxiety attack. I haven't felt THAT uncomfortable in church in a LONG time. It was hard to concentrate. I had to squint to see, and I remarked to my husband how everyone looked so SMALL from here! I felt disconnected. Self conscious. I felt embarrassed during worship because oh my GOSH I could actually hear my own voice SINGING!!! Ugh! I was so uncomfortable....I felt like the few people that were actually behind me were judging me. I know this all sounds so selfish and ridiculous, but it was such an awful feeling!!! I always tell people that I am too A.D.D. to sit more than 4 or 5 rows back in the middle. THAT is my comfort zone. It was so DISTRACTING to me to have all these people in front of me, because (again, darn that A.D.D.) I couldn't focus on the tiny people singing or speaking from stage because there were too many other things to look at. Good grief, can we say "SQUIRREL!!!" (Sorry to those who don't get the reference from Disney's UP)

On the flip side, when I AM sitting in my comfort zone, I feel connected, comfortable, and like I am surrounded by "family." I don't have to squint, and I DEFINITELY don't have to hear my own voice during worship! I don't lose focus easily, because guess what? There's nowhere else to look! LOL! It's the same at the movie theater....I like to sit 4th or 5th row back...right smack dab in the middle! Sometimes I wonder if it's a combination of my A.D.D. and my being vertically-challenged, that causes me to not want to see other people's heads in front of me. Probably.

Either way....I think it is WONDERFUL that so many people have a "usual" place to sit in church, but can be flexible if someone else takes "their" spot. The past year and a half God has really been teaching me all about flexibility and that change can be good.....or even if it's not necessarily "good", that HE is good and He will work His will whether I'm "happy" about it or not. If I will only bend to His plan and direction for my life, my marriage, my ministry, my relationships, my parenting....He will help me to focus and to "see over" any obstacle that I think is in my way. 😃